I don’t even know what to call this blog. Lately, I don’t know I guess I just fell different. I think maybe my paradigm is shifting. Like what I’m noticing about people. I’m not even tryna talk about other people m, like duck other people especially if they’re not trying to uplift you or make you feel good. But what I’ve been noticing while being out here like, people are very negative. And that little subtle vibe in the room that everybody is scared to be over, to stand out to be their true authentic selves, that takes guts to be and do and not everybody has what it takes. How am I trying to explain this?
Everybody on the bus Wants to feel seen or noticed or like they’re supposed to be ‘better’ and the whole time I’m like man if only I had my own car I wouldn’t be on the bus or the train right now having to ignore this mf up here trying to own the floor by not doing anything or being anything. It’s so annoying.
I don’t want no bums in my face at 4 and 6 am. Like really you really have to watch who you hang around and what you absorb, what you let people talk to you about, what you’re listening to, you don’t want to take on the persona of that type of energy. And these mfs out here be dead looking for somebody to mess with to bring down into misery with them. Otherwise why they’re out here smoking drugs. Why they smoking it at the bus stop or train station within it blowing down this way (talking about those noise shits) like bitch you chose to start smoking that shit, go hide off in a corner or dark alley and smoke that shit by yourself. Then they sit up here trying to still be around somewhat normal other people and it’s like you’re not on this side of normal with that shit in your brain sitting up here like they actually matter and they don’t. Ain’t nobody out here tryna be friends with no bums. And duck all that tryna be nice shit cause I’m not giving them shit. And it’s no feeling sorry for them because they’ll walk in front of you on purpose just to try and make you mad, then they did something to hopefully make you feel low like them.
And I’m saying breaking free from the matrix because if you don’t have headphones on then anybody’s conversations floating around is passing by you. And these mfs not talking about shit. You can guess if it’s an innuendo but with all the beautiful things in the world to think about who cares what some bum is saying to be heard out loud as some clue or some signal about what they’re looking at on you.
When I’m on the trains and buses I’ll turn my head away. I’m not looking up to see every person getting on the fucking bus. I mean who fucking cares. Know they’re fucking broke, a bum, look what they’re riding. And who cares what they have going on in their life, their on public transportation not looking to befriend a mf who has nothing.