Back in the beginning when homeless was fresh new, myself found itself resting on a concrete block down near skid row. This was still fresh the beginning, so I had a notebook and was journaling like a madwoman. I had this thing where I wanted to keep an archive, a collection of all of my filled journals. Growth, feelings, experiences. Even before I watched Gossip 👧 and Blair had her journal collection, I related to it, but I had always wanted to do that. Difference her was in a princess like treasure, and I was thinking more of a different feel for mine.
So here I am Down near skid row and I was feeling a bit emotionally affected because I had never seen so many tents lined up on the street before. Except that one time when we had moved down south and had a place of our own, we rode past a few bums, but the amount of homeless tents down on skid row, I felt sad for. So this was what I was writing about in my journal. I entitled it California. My first time there. My first time in Los Angeles. I didn’t know what to expect or not to expect.
Ok, so I found some shelters. Didn’t really shower, it was across the street, had to be up certain time in the morning. This was before I tried anything. It was too many ppl anyway, so it wasn’t to hang. I wasn’t trying to smoke a joint with anyone. I tried Ktoo when I didn’t have enough for a cannabis joint. No Id and wasn’t up on the dispensaries yet. At this point I wasn’t having real issues with anyone. Maybe I was going to get discovered. That was for another place in time.
Anyway, I never felt like everyone else, but I also didn’t feel like I the way now towards homeless people. Fucking bums is what they are. I’ve been homeless for five years straight, and now I’m like it’s pure laziness and I don’t feel sorry for no bum. They are annoying and out looking for nothing but trouble. Here I am states and time served later, still my same height, with a harder heart. I wish a bum would not approach me and ask me for no damn aluminum foil. They stand at the bus stops, crowd places outside that’s not there’s. They don’t own shit, and are just in the way. I absolutely hate dirty bums. Just last week a junkie came up to me and was yelling and splashed a whole bottle of water in my face. For no reason. I never said a word. It could have been a knife, maybe he had a gun in his tent, but he’s caped out by the soup kitchen and can’t just make someone move from there. That’s not rational clear thinking. And guess what the police said when they came? Oh, ‘maybe he just wanted to put you in your place, but we can’t just take him to jail’ 🌪
So, I had this on draft today is the 22nd and now I’m sitting in the bathroom at greyhound and it’s like the type of vibes in here it’s already known it’s broke, all these type of ppl want is to be next to me to try and see what type of person I am, am I low and dirty like them, feel like all these eyes on me, like all ppl tryna do is talk about me, these bitches don’t have to pee, they just coming in here, but if anybody had any money nobody would be at greyhound, and it’s like they all subtlety communicating with each other and I’m tryna block them’ out, I hate bums, phone on 9%.
All ppl be tryna do is see what they could try to make u feel low on, ain’t nobody seen me, I got the vibes though. I’m not interested in looking at them or being around them, and I don’t want no bitch next door tryna smell me in the bathroom, when these bitches walking out of here sitting on the seat not washing their hands and a bitch be tryna act like cause she take out some cheap perform or got on some pink nikes at the greyhound station bitch supposed to be doing something. They ain’t talking about shit.
It’s so annoying because I don’t like these types of people. I don’t feel sorry for them, fuck a meth head or any drug attack. They can quote a scripture, that don’t mean ima just like them, these type of people don’t feel me up, I don’t like their energy and I don’t wanna sit around shit like this festering around shit like that. It’s lazy, like jail, mental houses, and shit like that. Trouble.
Even walking down the street to get here why all these tents on the sidewalk like it irritates me, ok cause God loved them, I don’t want these type of fuckers in my face cause it’s annoying, it’s dirty and it stinks!
That’s where I’m at in. My life. I don’t feel sorry for no bums, and all this taking long shit, and waiting on other people who tryna feel like somebody without really grind stone or being nobody, it’s easy for them cause they not shit, I walk into a room ppl be mad by all the attention I draw and all they tryna do is get a reaction a switch, that’s all they about, they try to find a way in to annoy you, if you out here with them,
Do fuck greyhound and I should be out here at my absolute best. Though clothes don’t make me, that’s shit they only understand, and public transportation not saying shit. Like, I’m so over it