Everything is a game. Everybody in they spot to play and they better do it on cue. They pay you to bump into somebody else or say a word, but they gon turn on you too,
Type it for me, I’ll think it,
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Tag Archives: hearing voices
Gang stalking, paranoia, God’s chosen anointed Ones, 1 Corinthians, Getting rid of Toxic Negative People for GOOD!
Ok so I’m sitting ah the bus stop across the street from the circle k. Ok, it’s Sunday so the buses are running a little slower, could or could not be, slower than twenty minutes apart. So, since I was sitting there one bus had gone by. But I was already sitting there for a few. So, people go by, not really anybody walking across my face.
There’s a sudden realization here. Ok, first, let me tell you what just happened…
So, some bitch crosses the street, with a shirt over her head. And if you think you’re dealing with Gang stalking and you see things that’s supposed to get you conditioned and being paranoid as to applying to you, I’m like, hey I walk around with a shirt on my head, you to shield from the sun, even though my skin is darker, but you know skin dehydration causes wrinkles…
So, I’m drinking my drink that I’d say I snagged, ok, it’s hard working jobs without feeling some way on the job like people talking to you, or about you, like everybody tryna whisper they’re in your head but you don’t know anybody, and so, yeah… I’m sitting at the bus stop, the bitch walks by after crossing the street from over by circle k corner to on this side, then she crosses the corner, then re appears, and walks towards me, then walks by, then minutes later somebody like hey, then they touch my shoulder, …
So I grab the bitch pistachios. But it’s like she tried to disrespect me in front of whoever she thought was watching. Then after I tell the bitch like dude, ain’t nobody got time to be jail for you and you know you wouldn’t do that shit downtown, I don’t have no fucking drugs for you. So, I got e bitch pistachios, it’s like I’m not tryna play tough out here it’s these ones out here tryna invade your space, and I got better things to live for, and then it’s like everybody wants you to feel watched and bothered by them doing the irritating shit that they doing…
And all they do is crowd around you, they want you reacting and hiring mad, they hate for anybody to feel comfortable or enjoyable and you can’t even get that out here unless you have your own home and not around other people like them. It’s too many haters out here.
Nobody out here knows me personally, it doesn’t matter if people don’t like black girls, I mean it was just some bum ass white bitch out couldn’t even get a free $11 tablet but sitting up here an jaywalked across the street then tryna ask me for a fucking cigarette that was already sitting at the damn bus stop when I sat down right there, why, cause it’s all types of bums on Thomas ave in Phoenix.
And so, I don’t blame shit on no dam. Ganga stalking. It’s the patterns and I don’t feel conditioned, there has been trauma in my life in the last five years and I know how I always been, how I always felt, and never have it’s been no voices, tryna say or ppl constantly around me tryna feed of my vibes, like feeling ppl and it’s not even positive, just too much.
It’s too much public out here. I’m not in competition wi to nobody, don’t care they exist and wish they’d get the fuck out my face to try and demonstrate oh hey this is how I am, like ok don’t look this way to try and entertain the type of person you never been here around…
And it’s like, today, I’m at the library they open for a few hours today on Sunday, (ok, now a dude beating on the table, these computers are on a circle table…
Guess what, as soon as I wrote that, some bitch said hey do you have an id I can check, only teens on this floor, then AS SOON as I press the button for the up floor, the elevator comes with two old white couple, dude says, oh we’re going to the 5th floor, then it sounded like he whispered something under his breath that he couldn’t real life say to my face but this game they think they tapped into like I can hear everything they’re saying and how they feel about me, that’s why I feel alone, and separated because these are the only types of ppl around,
And they are hateful, they have an agenda and the only way is to get rich to beat the small games they pulling out here like this.
Do you feel like people are monitoring you or using electro magnetic frequency to attack you mentally ? Or met up to attack you or cause some disruption or delay in your life on purpose ? Like people tryna watch you and don’t want you to be successful?
Anxiety, Weed, God and Homeless
It’s not my problem where anybody else is in their lives. You got homeless people all over. At the beginning when I first was homeless, I used to feel sort of bad for the people, like a little kid visiting a animal shelter of sick pets. Ohh, nobody should be homeless, it’s so sad, blah blah fucking blah. I’m at the point now where I do not give a fuck about homeless people and I actually hate these fucking bums.
See, these mfs with these carts be the main ones starting shit. Why? I mean what is there left: homeless, mental, miserable. It be the main motherfuckers with these carts and bookbags trying to start shift with people. Get in your way, start yelling for no reason, stand by you, they want a reaction, feel like somebody notices them because they know they aren’t shit. This is how they try to feel included with somewhat regular society.
I’m walking down these small ass sidewalks, I cringe at the site of a fucking bum coming my way. They have nothing better to do, they’ll stand there, in the way. Or try to bump into you to get to argue with them. Fuck that. It’s their own fault. This is why nobody cares. Nobody’s gonna fucking baby you. There’s all types of shelters and shit out here. Barely any showers and of course no one wants a bum washing up in their establishment but after a certain point it’s a choice.
I don’t even know why they’re at the fucking shelters. Just to leave again. I mean I don’t care but it’s like damn, while I’m here, I mean the shelter shit is their domain, I hate even sharing any type of space with these dirty ass bums. They don’t know how to take care of shit. Then walking around like somebody’s supposed to feel sorry for them or something. Shit.
But back to these carts and bookbags and shit. All these bags and dirty shit, crowding up the train, and the sidewalks, it just makes everything feel so ugly. Now I’m like I see anybody with a damn bag, suitcase, automatic bum. And I need to be as far away from them as possible. Don’t even say anything to these motherfuckers. Buy a coffee or a meal or something. I mean do nice shit but you know, you can’t be around these people. So yeah.
Update since I first started this post from November 2021. So much has happened. Been in AZ four months, jail four times in those months, since being in PHX. And I wasn’t even trying to stop here on my solo car road trip across the country. This sont my first trek across the country like this. First time back five years ago when I first became homeless and been since then. Each year that went by was more stressful than the last. It’s to the point now where you see certain type of people or energy you just don’t want to be around. Trust me if you were living out here on these streets you’d feel a different way about people. It’s hard to really keep a good attitude when you got a bunch of hating ass, dirty, negative broke people around who aren’t doing anything than to try and seem like a big person off the next person on the train.
These mfs out here disrespectful too. I don’t carry weapons, I stay to myself and I don’t bother with nobody. You already know what type of people out here. Only ones that’s gon be cool with ppl like them is other bums or drug dealers. All that smoking getting high off these ugly drugs out here that’s not cute. Can’t no meth addict sit up here and try to compete with somebody focused on building wealth for themselves. And if you try to be too humble, whatever that means, they tryna sit up here like oh that’s what’s supposed to be done for them. It’s cool to be nice. That’s God’s way, I just don’t like how ppl be tryna make you feel low or beneath them.
Who wants to walk to the train station at four in the morning down the street where the shelter is on 12th ave in Phoenix, when you got three way traffic and it’s tents on every when way you stand at that corner. How can you put up with dealing with that every days when these mfs out here robbing, stealing, high with no though process, all this crazy shit going on out in the world, you can’t say that wouldn’t spook you? You don’t want to say nothing to hear mfs, they don’t have any money or shit you want. They ride the same trains with no money, sleep, dirty, and understanding how hard it is, but it’s like you get tired of being around that shit every fucking day. You don’t see nobody reading. If you sit off anywhere off where this train route goes for too long, here comes one of them, they crowding the sidewalks, staring in your face til you walk by, you got addicts sitting outside of circle k growling at you and shit til it’s where where the fuck are you supposed to give away from all this shit?
Cause with hygiene, I mean if you got the money you could get a shower at the travel center, if you’re not on your period and don’t have any accidents or incompetence, that could last a week. I don’t get funky like that, but I do sweat. I try to stay covered from the sun, I got my shades, face mask, good on, gloves, cause I have a bike now l, but the front tire is flat and the pedals seem so hard to push even with the gear in low mode so it constantly feels like uphill for no reason. So when I show up people are looking. People like starting shit. Then you gotta get through paranoia. If you riding the hike and the ppl around these neighbors hide, you don’t know what’s a ‘good’ or not, they see you going this direction or you gotta be going to circle k on this street, seem like mfs be waiting for you to get there. The neighborhood watchers, mfs a pull up to sit there, then pull off, not get out, just when you leave. And it’s like they want you to see them.!
I got meat on my bones, so that’s another stand out that I’m out here like them. Cause you know a lot of addicts are skinny. I tried meth before. Most I smoked it was a month or so. Not everyday either. After one time of feeling like it was too Nintendo I never put that shit inn my nose again. One time I came out here in 2019, and even got my own pipe. That’s when you become a crack head. But I did not stay on this shit. I probably smoked crack and didn’t know it. From a pipe. Thought it was crystal meth. I put a few crumbs in my weed blunt, but nothing long term. I s mostly smoke weed and drink. I drank so much, and most times I wouldn’t eat, I weight nearly 150 and I had been
Surviving Homelessness with a Prupose
Just recently released. So currently, I’ve traveled miraculously trying to get documentation to get my car released from impound. It’s been 22 days.
During this process I’ve been a little more anxious than usually and slightly more paranoid. It’s the being outside part. I thought I was hearing things. Like regular ppl saying my name, talking about what I was doing in the bathroom, just straight watching me. Even in jail I was hearing the negative energy trying to penetrate me.
I was wondering why was I hearing my middle name and a city the sergeant mentioned in a paper she printed off for me because she called me in the office wondering why I was yelling when really it the met head in the mental health pod screaming out racial slurs indirectly. And not that I took offense but it’s like these ppl would never say anything to me when I was out, and they stand around waiting for a reason to bump into you, or say something stupid, just to have an encounter.
Not everyone readi this would understand,. If you think you’re one of the 144, 000, then you probably get the vibes, but ppl are drawn to me, and I don’t say anything, and it’s toxic, feeling everybody and their hungry for attention, they wanna be first, seen, in front of me and all this jazz.
So, the whole two weeks I sat, I’m like ok, keep my mind sharp, I’m listening to the convos that float around, not talking to anyone, I didn’t even eat the food or come out of the room, felt like they were trouble, and they were, the guards even buzzed the door open and let other inmates in the cell I was in, with no other guard present, and I’m like the only black girl on the pod, and you’ve seen the movies. I was paranoid for like two nights.
So I get released, thinking oh it’s only gonna be around 150 usd around there, I find my car, walked three plus hours, just all this to go and get my ride. Get there, they’re like oh it’s not registered to you, after they let me in to get all the paperwork and my I’d to grab my things, that was bullshit right there because they let me in to get that, obviously I bought the car and the papers are here, oh it needs to be in the system, legally.
So, they didn’t even give me my ID after that. So it’s all this shit, I’m like ok, something is working against me, doesn’t want me to win, wants to see me walking the streets squirming, all these voices, sounds, and I know I’m not tripping. Haven’t even been smoking. I’m an avid cannabis smoker, but lately just been on ease with everything. Because I bought this car and I worked hard for it, and homelessness is stressful especially being more determined to be away from the energy of it, can’t slow down and feel sorry for everybody, wondering why ppl are looking at you sideways.
And so with voices, I’m saying in my head I’m getting my car out, I’m determined to get my car, I’m hearing opposite. But not loud. I got my car registered today. Despite the sounds against me. So whatever that isn’t doesn’t have power. And another example is from jail because when I thoughts their innuendos were about me, I said ok if that’s true, then slide your info under the door, that’s all I said out loud. Because I was in the room most of the stay, didn’t talk to anyone l, I’m in the room talking out loud to myself. What the name of my boats gonna be and all this. So, I didn’t get any info under the door, like oh could you help me wihh the bail or whatever, … test. Ok, king me.
So it’s really motivating. Can’t be stuck out here if you really want something better for yourself. And you can’t be out here bothered by the negativity or misery of other peoples. Everybody can’t see your visions. And if you find yourself in between times, make sure you making it look sexy. Never dim your light for anybody. Haters want to feel big, they know they’re not important, hurt them more by accomplishing your goals.
Crickets are chirping currrently as I’m camped out by the tags and title office until daybreak. No bums should be over here.
Witheverywhere 