Having no support system and staying mentally healthy while homeless and broke

just recently I arrived inGeorgia, after being stranded in Houston for a little over 1.5 months. I went to jail for stealing iphone 13 and 14 aftering being approved for them. The phones were found by scene because when I got out days before my birthday, I caught the city bus ad walked what felt like 6 hours to where I hid them in a bush. I had good intentions and having anew iPhone would have made my yutub channel look better. Plus the guy I was with was on of those hey, d you want to make a quick $100, just let us run your credit dudes, who most likely knew the guy ho worked there and they’ve been grabbing phone while theater brings a person in.

Sat 47 days for tha and had my had smashed in a cell door, and I could sue but no collateral for a good lawyer because they’re no supposed to assaulting inmates allowing a notherinmate to punch me in my head repeatedly. A nobody who admitted to already signing for 5 to 7 years. Never said anything to his batch, I was cool, quiet, pretty, dark skin, and stayed to myself.

there are nothing but homeless and drug addicts riding on that rail line inHouston. That city is more depressing than i thought arizona was, mostly phoenix. I landed a few hours in Montgomery which smelled like urine upon arriving just in the air, snd i felt kind of bad for saying a sister wast m kind in front awhite family. But i went back a 3rd time to grab amikes hard, another one, andthe black cler may havetold thewhitecler what i said, but i ased her if se thought she read minds. She said no, mentionedshewas a cancer leo mix, she didn’t say cusp, and cocane was furthest from her mind, it was my guess.

now being aGeorgia, i checked at the selters, slept at the tran stations two nights, some homeless black dude carry a roll of tissue walked by I opened my eyes, he turn around like oh do you need something to eat, he kneels and gives me two bucks, then slaps my ass, while I’m lying down next to the space hater I got from the nrg stadium which I slept at two nights even after all the tep workers weren’t assigned back probably until the rodeo. And so helike, “oh please suck my dick, let me jack off I’ll give u ten” I’m like I don’t dothat, hereu want this back, helike yeah giveit back.

Talking about te tw bucks so he wuld leavem alone and gt away, but i never fathomed how someone coul try to say sme money i theres just bcauze they gve it to smeone. Once it leavesyour hands, its not yours anymore, I’ve experienced this with homeless,mentally ill dudes wo try to be narcisstic and feel superior. Meanwhile they’re dirty and Trina get with a pretty girl who just so happens to be on te streets so thy hink you’re easy like the rest of them, not judging but ppl arelost out there on those streets and you hate have scene to care aboutyou, to tak to and make sense of things.

just to feel some peace and quiet andbalance with no extracurricular sounds or paranoia cause it’s just too much of everybody crowding around, sleeping outside, beingoutside, eatiher that or at the grocery store, or some inconvenient store just not getting any return on water im eating or spending. Just lbs I don’t see yet.

so it’s good to vent and talk to my family cause I was feeling like it was some game they were in on and some invisible was Trina block me this andthat way, then someone answered and I slept last night warm, and it’s been peaceful, it’s when I went to hegrocery store ad just ppl try and be seen too much make asleep because I be so to myself ad they’re low vibrational energy in awe about my presence then he kids want you to see them turn their back on you, like just move out the way causeyoure not important.

I’m optimistic about this month being auspicious for me, I’m grateful for my family, and my own mind. I know I’m not mental and I know I’ve never hard voicesbefore and no one reads thoughts. Whenever I get paranoid I change my thought, I have freedom to do so, so I’m in control of of what I let influence my own self.

I may try this therapy app. These ppl that be talking about gag stalking really b too caught up in it, when the focus needs t be on reprogramming your own self conscious mind, how you’re responding to your invironments. I’m glad to have alittlespaceto retreat, I don’t need alcohol or cannabis to just be. Things are looking up.

I was going to move l but really want to build my cleaning business and get a new luxury car, some pampering care, and I also want have a child. I mean mybeeven this year but I’ve been eating sounhealthy. Plus i kindof want to have a baby virgo or libra or scorpio.

this guy I met one early dark morning is a scorpio who already has kids, and I’m like should h just give me one to bring hometo my mom while she’s still alive, I mean already missing daddy. And i can still bea millionaire. But I want a good doctor and goodinsurance. God help.


so you think you safe cause you act like them? They gon turn on you too, 666, red, voices, matrix, nobody

Everything is a game. Everybody in they spot to play and they better do it on cue. They pay you to bump into somebody else or say a word, but they gon turn on you too,

Type it for me, I’ll think it,

Show me magic

The Streets Make You Mad – Current Situation | Anxiety, Depression, No Therapy



I’m so tired of beig out here like this. After five years of being homeless like at this point I’m truly over bei around people. I’m tired of being at bus stops upon waking up. Being. At shelters, jails, mental hospitals. All of that annoying shit. And then realizing there’s really not shit out here and even with all of these distractions and nuisances around I still have to keep a positive attitude Even doing that not wanting some evil, high, mentally ill scrambler walking down the street or on the train trying to come around and steal good energy.

People be sitting up here talking to me for no reason l. Don’t be bothering nobody, and a bum would come over just to see if I respond, just to be seen, or whatever it is, they’re not regular people. First of all no ones just going to trust some bum walking down the street and assume just because they’re homeless and smoke fetnyal they’re harmless. You’d think if you say a simple no they’d go away but even with that, I’m not sitting up here at 4 and 5 am to talk to no fucking bum. It’s so freaking N annoying!

These people out here be having bad energy, bad attitudes l, all these people out here looking for validation, wanna be seen, and really nobody’s at a position where that’s the example to follow. These mfs on the trains and buses don’t have anything. I barely see anyone ever reading or doing anything productive, so it’s really no inspiration. Pretty much anywhere along this whole train route bums are. And it’s like the people that work at the gas stations are more comfortable with people like the bums and addicts than someone who is obviously not like them.

I have meat on my bones. I’m weari my shades. It’s hot as the middle of hell out here in Phoenix, so I’m having on these clothes, long sleeves and caps and head coverings, which probably gets me more stared at because it’s not a lot of people my skin color out here that’s out on the streets that’s not on drugs and not tryi mg to just fit in with everyone else. Cause these mexicans out here think they superior to opposites and they are hateful and have bad vibes. They think they’re people is supposed to be automatically liked or looked at, and these females really be trash and dumb. I see it like bitch you workin go at the gas station or some temp place or whatever whatever you doing is not better just because it’s a lot of mexicans out here. They be tryna subtlety make it seem like if a mexican bitch a bum an obvious prostitute or drug addict is supposed to get a pass for not being shit just because h the e bitch that race. They not the only ones to have businesses or who work. Then they out here making it seem like if a black person latches on to them they some savior but it’s to look like oh I have this black person on a leash everybody look. And both of their asses sittting out here homeless as fuck.

I can’t stand no mf that smoke cigarettes. I hate drug addicts and bums. There’s no sympathy from me about no bum cause guess what these be he main people out here causing trouble. It’s certain places they won’t walk into or go because they know they don’t fit in there. Just because they got on a dress today riding the train, bitch you not cute, you not sexy, everybody sits on these damn seats, they’re not sanitized, ain’t nobody out here tryna save no bus fare just to park at some park and ride, nobody’s gonna assume you’re not homeless or have a car, no it’s just some bum bitch on the train. And this is the only spot where they can ‘show’ off for the next person and nobody’s on these fucking trains or buses but broke bum mfs!

I’m like if these mfs not buying what I’m selling ain’t no need for me to really talk to them cause somewhere along that, it’s a waste of time, they ain’t going nowhere, they got narcissistic tendencies, they don’t have no conversation, they too hung up on who sees them out on the street, like they be talking and whispering to the next stranger. I dont give a fuck about no gang stalking shit, I’m the only one in my own thoughts, my own mind. And ain’t nobody else finna sit up here and be born tryna make it seem like I haven’t. Then all they doing out here is tryna see me. And I hate it. Cause I’m not getting good vibes back, it doesn’t feel useful to me to sit up here just cause somebody walking down the street to give them some acknowledgement, cause that’s the common thing of how commoners do out here. I’m not no regular schmegular out here. That’s why I can’t do temp jobs, even the dispatchers be jealous of me trying not to send me out on assignments after I been up there since 4 am. Shit like that.

People really be jealous of me out here. And I think I physically see the matrix right in front of me. Like it’s not even funny. I can’t do no shelters, as wide open as it is out here, like it’s not meant to live out on the streets l, anywhere you go is a space for somebody to try to fuck with you if you not at home or have something to back you up. Don’t go to know cheap ass circle k cause only bums and broke people go there. Ain’t nobody reading or even talking about shit on the trains but they fucking problems and issues, and what license or if they tryna get,. It’s so irritating. Then if they see you don’t have on headphones, plus you’re not looking at them or up when someone gets on the train, here goes the conversations tryna say something to be heard, all this old stupid kindergarten shit and it’s like I could be at the flea or market or some shit meeti mg better people. I highly fucking doubt if these neighborhoods around here making eight million a week off drugs. These bums out here on the street don’t have shit. Police ain’t doing shit, all the trouble is fucking fetnyal addicts and so they treat everybody like that, they soft and weak out here in Arizona and they don’t expect nobody to retaliate or combat them. They got that same systematic approach to either try and fuck with you to see if you gon get loud, even if you just sitting there not doing nothing, it’s so many other people in the library , why this mf only over here talking about am I ok? Like, I don’t have to respond to anybody. Actually it’s best not to say anything to them cause they like arguing anyway. As stupid as they are.

It’s so annoying that I’m not even interested in the next person. Some mf carrying a fucking book bag or bag, what use is that for me?

That’s why I’m not at the shelter. It’s not healthy to be around that type of energy for too long. You there for a voucher, somewhere to stay and save your money, if it was just that, it’s doable, you can deal, I put up with it for a month, another place 3 maybe two, but realize you out here with all these people and they got all this bad energy on them, they ain’t used to nothing but sitting up not not doing anything everyday so they don’t mind looking and watching you, they don’t mind tryna make trouble for you, the bum bitches wanna feel feminine knowing that they not in the state where they’re desired, some other addict fucking on them, that’s it, then they wanna try and stand in front of me or on the other side at the desk, when it’s rude to do that when a person up here talking about tryna get a bed, bitch you have no respect, you do not know how to conduct yourself. These mfs a come up on you and touch you for no reason. Where do they do that and somebody doesn’t get shot? Like nobody said anything to them or even looked at them? What, that’s supposed to be ok just because this bitch is obviously a crack head. That’s what makes it even fucking worse! I don’t want no ducking bum touching me. But if I wild the fuck out then it’s gon have to be some explaining to do. And they like drama. It’s this light this glow about me, like I shouldn’t be around no bums at all. And when I say I dislike em and I don’t have any sympathy for them, understand I been out here homeless for five years.

And I’m extreme not tired of sharing space with other people. It causes so much unnecessary distress. And then it makes it seem so fucking small when it’s all this fucking space, then out here walking, here got all these eyes, then it seem like all these ppl just bunched up in the same spaces. Same sidewalk, same way, then they tryna act big out here like ain’t nobody feeling like ‘no, bitch you get the fuck out of MY way!’ It’s so annoying. Go up to the damn self check out thing at the library, somebody’s there. Wasn’t nobody there on my way to the restroom. How ironic is that. Then it’s like ok just cause you look at this person doesn’t mean they probably aren’t a mass shooter, but you looking up or in this persons face, who has sunglasses head covering and long clothing on, that doesn’t make you tough!

I can’t stand the simple minded behavior out here. You’re not going to see any millionaires camping out at no damn library, they can buy anything here! Only ppl that need wifi or a library card is a broke mf that really is caught up in this matrix dude. It’s so annoying.


And then just last night/ this 1am morning some homeless, white, high dude came to the bus stop I was sleeping at at actually moved my legs to try and sit down and clear I was sleeping on the bench with my hands in my shirt and face covered. Then when I called 911 he played victim and said I hit him. Luckily the Lord was on my side, and I didn’t have any warrants because I really didn’t have to give them my ID, this dude didn’t even have a phone and was obviously a transient and I’m just tired of people like that. And out here in Arizona that seems to be how all these ppl are out here and it’s being tired of being in the same places and then all you running into all day is people trying to get your attention because you don’t look like the others and it’s like I don’t get anything from that.

And it’s this constant energy like ppl tryna get you to seem them, hope you see them so they can show you they don’t like you. They out here thinking you supposed to have an attitude and wanna be their friends just so they can try and make you feel low. Like I’m so tired of people. These type of people. They don’t have shit to offer. Mehta would a rich person or anybody who has anything going for tnhemaelves need to come to the library l? So you know the type of people that are there? Homeless, troublemaking, imbalanced, jealous, hateful, oh look at me instead, (nobody cares you exist), bums.

<Super sigh of exasperation>